Couldn't Be Love
by tradingforeverx
Summary: Lily has finally become a Healer. And one of her first patients? James Potter, who she thought had left her life three years ago. Now he expects them to pick up where they left off, except there's one problem: she's engaged.
1. The First Day

**AN: **Hey. New story. Again. Sorry about that one. Just read it though, will you? I think maybe I can actually do this one.

**Disclaimer:** Me own the plot. Not Harry Potter. And unfortunately, not James Potter. But happy late birthday to him anyways!

**Couldn't Be Love**

**by: tradingforeverx**

Chapter One: The First Day

Lily Evans ran through her messy house at full speed. It was her first day as a real Healer, not just a lowly intern, and her and her best friend, Brittany Brittle, had already picked out the shoes she was to wear with her Healer robes: black pumps, but for the life of her, all she could find were ratty old sneakers. The same ones that her older sister, Petunia's, annoying dog had chewed at the toes of.

"Where did we leave those buggers?" Lily muttered angrily under her breath, checking under the dining room table for the third time. After seeing that they were, in fact, not present, she slammed the table cloth back down and gave a screech of frustration.

"Having troubles, darling?" a voice asked from behind her, and she spun around to see her fiancé, Benjy Fenwick, leaning against the doorframe and eating a sour, lime green apple.

"Have you seen my black heels?" she asked, scanning the room again. "I can't find them, and I need to be at work about, oh, three minutes ago–"

"By the door," Benjy answered. "You put them there last night to remember."

Lily sighed, relieved, and walked up to give him a kiss in thanks. "I'll see you tonight," she promised.

"You better," he answered, leaning in for another kiss. She turned at the last moment and his lips collided with her cheek. "Oi, what's that for?"

"I'm going to be late!" she squeaked, passing a smirk over her shoulder at him while she exited the dining room and walked down the hall to her shoes. After slipping them on, she yelled good-bye, and apparated away.

"Name?" the woman behind the reception desk at St. Mungo's asked, barely glancing up from what she was writing.

"Lily Evans," Lily stated proudly. "It's my first day."

The woman glanced up, her glasses, filled with gems, glinting in the light. She sighed once she took in Lily, turning her head a fraction to the right to yell over her shoulder, "Laura! Take this one back. It's her first day."

Another woman turned around from where she was standing, hunching over a chart of some sort, and nodded, beaming at Lily. She looked to be about thirty, or in her late twenties, with shocking blonde hair and deep brown eyes.

"Hey," Laura said amiably. "I'm Laura. You can just follow me."

Lily nodded, a nervousness creeping up in her stomach as she followed Laura through a door to a hallway with lots of doors leading off, all into different rooms with healing patients. Although Lily had already been here all the time for her training, walking down the hall was suddenly different. It was _real_ this time.

"So, what's your name?" Laura asked.

"Lily Evans."

Laura shot her a look, whistling lowly. "So you're Evans. Jackman has said some good things about you to us."

Lily blushed. "Really?" she asked timidly.

"Yup," Laura asked, keeping up her fast pace of walking. "Don't worry about today. You'll be great, if what he says is correct. Not to mention that it's your first day. You're allowed to make some errors."

"I don't want to make errors," Lil protested, struggling to keep up.

"No one does," Laura said simply. "Come on, can't you walk any faster?" she added.

Lily blushed again. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. You'll be walking even faster than this by next week."

They turned a corner and Laura stopped abruptly, turning sharply to a door on the left. She tapped her wand against the wood and a handle appeared. At Lily's startled look, Laura smiled. "Break room. They don't show interns this. But you'll find your schedule in here."

Entering, Lily noticed that the room was a bit crowded, a coffee maker producing coffee loudly on the counters that ran the perimeter of the room with tables and chairs crowding the inside. A hallway led off of this room and Laura led Lily down it, turning into a room filled with racks of paper.

"Evans, Evans, Evans..." Laura muttered under her breath. "Ah, here," she said, pulling out a folder and holding it out to Lily, who took it reluctantly. Opening it, she saw that a stamp was forming under the date. At Lily's furrowed eyebrows, Laura explained, "Shows you came to work. Sort of like clocking in in Muggle terms."

Lily nodded, following the paper down to where multiple numbers and descriptions were written, and read through them quickly.

"Those are the room numbers and the patients. You know how to do everything, right? You should have learned that in training," Laura told her, grabbing her own folder, under the last name, Walker.

"Yeah, I can do this," Lily muttered, still reading.

"Alright," Laura said. "You'll want to see Jackman before you start your rounds, but after that go crazy. Ask about your lunch hour, too. I'll eat with you if I see you." She winked. "Off to work," she announced, before exiting the room quickly.

The sudden quiet startled Lily as she starred at the room she stood in. It was messy and slightly disorganized, but as Lily left, folder clutched tight in her hand, she felt a smile creeping across her face.

The cafeteria in St. Mungo's was much like the break room: cramped. As Lily stood in line, a tray in hand, she glanced around at the people. She already had the distinct impression that this was like first year in Hogwarts all over again.

"Hey, Lily," a voice said from behind her, and she turned, a spoon full of mashed potatoes in hand, to see Laura behind her.

"Oh, hi, Laura," she answered, about to slap the potatoes onto her plate before Laura's hand stopped her.

"Nu-uh," Laura told her, grimacing. "This place doesn't have the best food, and their mashed potatoes taste exactly like dirty socks."

Lily put the spoon back into the mashed potatoes at once. "Never did like the taste of dirty socks," she commented lightly, and Laura laughed.

"You've tried them before?"

"Actually, yes," Lily answered, much to Laura's surprise. At her queer look, Lily continued, "I was in sixth year at Hogwarts, and...well, these boys in my year tried to kidnap me. They didn't have anything to stop me from talking, and I talked a lot, let me tell you, so they put some dirty socks in my mouth. Never got over that one." She ran her tongue over her teeth as if tasting it again.

Laura laughed openly. "That's a great story. Ooh, try the salad, it's delicious."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. "It looks a little limp."

"Trust me," Laura said while picking up a slice of pizza and grabbing a bottle of pumpkin juice. "It's great."

Lily shrugged. "If you say so." She took the salad, a roll, and a butterbeer, before pulling out her ID, flashing it to the witch who was making sure that everyone was paying. At the woman's nod, she continued walking, Laura a step behind her.

"Come on," Laura said. "You can sit with me and some of my friends. They may seem a little eccentric, but..." Laura grinned. "Well, you get used to it."

Lily followed Laura to a table a few feet from them, filled with people in green robes like Lily's. They were making quite a racket, much to the displeasure of the other patrons, and Laura grinned again before slipping into an empty seat easily. Lily sat next to her, placing her tray down lightly.

"Oi, guys," Laura said. "Pay attention. This is Lily. She's new."

"Newbie!" one of the men at the table yelled loudly. "I love those. What's up?" he asked, nodding to Lily.

Lily smiled back. "Hello," she said, taking in his dishwater colored blonde hair and blue eyes.

"That's Will, and this is Emma, Vince, Joe, and Andy," Laura introduced, pointing to each person separately, who all welcomed Lily willingly.

"Today's your first day?" Emma asked her, her cropped brown hair falling into her brown eyes, a donut in front of her that she picked at with her fingers.

Lily nodded. "Yeah, I've been an intern for a few years."

"I remember being an intern," Vince said, running a hand over his bald head. "Those were some good times."

"Yeah, back when you had hair," Andy said, snickering under his breath.

"Vince is a very competitive swimmer," Laura explained to Lily as the men across the table from them continued to bicker. "He takes it very seriously."

"A swimmer?" Lily asked, surprised. "It's mostly just Quidditch, Quidditch, Quidditch in the wizarding world."

"Muggleborn," Vince explained.

Lily smiled. "Me too."

"How'd you react when you got your letter?" Vince asked. "I think I'm the only Muggleborn I've met that didn't freak out. I just yelled, 'I knew it!' and that was that."

"You can't meet yourself, doofus," Andy muttered, but Vince only elbowed him, eyes trained on Lily.

"Oh, well, it was my sister who freaked out more than I did. She's a year older than I am, and when Dumbledore came to my door she wet herself in fright."

Laughter erupted at the table.

"No!" Joe yelled loudly, slapping his knee. "Had he even mentioned magic yet?"

Lily chuckled. "Nope." At this, the laughter intensified. "Just opened the door and _bam!_ She wet herself. Of course, I had to clean it while my parents talked to Dumbledore privately. I smelled like piss when I first met Dumbeldore. He can never look at me without a smirk now."

Joe slapped his knee again. "That's great. I love that man. And I officially love your sister, too. Tell her to owl me, eh?" he joked.

Lily smiled. "Hardly," she said dryly. "She's scared of birds too." She took a bite of her salad before turning to Laura and exclaiming, "This _is_ good."

"How are you feeling today, Mrs. Truman?" Lily asked politely, smiling down at her patient with the woman's chart in her hands.

"Like a piece of shit, that's how!" Mrs. Truman answered.

Lily coughed to cover up her laughter, banging a fist against her chest. "Sorry?" she asked.

"Oh, you heard me, girl! And don't you cough in here, this is supposed to be a sterile room and I am sick enough as it is! Now where's my fucking potions?"

"Um..." Lily muttered, biting her lip as she held out a tray, multiple potions on top of it. "Drink all of that for now. You'll get your next dose at dinner."

Mrs. Truman did not need to be told again as her wrinkled hands took up the first potion, which was a silky color of purple.

"Is your back still hurting you?" Lily asked, taking note of it on the chart.

"No," the old woman answered in between potions, the next one held tightly between both of her hands, held close to her lips for easy access. "Now it's my damn toes. You Healers can't get anything right."

"Er, right," Lily answered, backing out of the room slowly. "I'll be sure to come check on you later, Mrs. Truman."

"You sure as hell better," the woman muttered, and Lily left the room quickly, chuckling under her breath as she slowly walked down the hall, headed towards her next patient in room 348. Her walk was interrupted as a stretcher came careening down the hall, Healers pushing it like in a Muggle hospital, talking frantically over the man laying unconscious.

_Wait a second..._Lily thought as she got a closer look at who was lying across the stretcher. Blood was covering the majority of his face, and his hair was wet with it as well, and the uniform he was wearing was ripped and battered, but Lily could tell it was him despite it all.

"Wait!" she yelled out as they passed her, still talking wildly. She jogged behind them, asking, "What happened to him?"

"Quidditch accident," one of the men pushing the stretcher informed her quickly. "Got hit with a Bludger in the chest and then fell fifty feet."

"Those damn Appleby Arrow's play dirty," one of the women muttered.

"You need to get him a Blood Replenishing Potion now!" Lily practically yelled, still jogging with them.

"We know that," the man snapped. "Where does it look like we're going?"

"No, I mean right now! He's stopped breathing!"

"Bugger," the woman said, increasing her pace.

"What are you even doing?" Lily questioned. "You're _magical_! It's called Accio!"

The stretcher came to a screeching halt as wands flew through the air. The four Healers all held their hands out expectantly and within seconds different potions and materials were given to them as they went through the task of saving his life.

"No, I'm seeing him now!" an angry voice yelled from down the hall. A woman argued with him, her voice quiet, but his voice was easy to distinguish with his loud tone. "I don't bloody care if there are patients resting! I need to know–"

The woman spoke again, but all Lily could make out was 'time' and 'not now.'

"Listen, lady," the man said. "I don't know who you think you are, but you need to stop following me and let me see if my best mate–Lily!"

Lily swirled around, her green eyes bright as she took in who was standing in front of her. "Sirius!" she exclaimed. "I knew I recognized that voice."

Sirius Black hurried down the hall, the woman that had been following him now leaving in a huff. "Is that him?" Sirius asked before running in the direction of where Lily was standing near the stretcher.

"Yes," Lily answered shakily. "But he's not in very good shape, Sirius..." she tried to warn him, but knew that if this Sirius was like the Sirius she'd known back in school, he'd only just come quicker.

Sirius stopped in front of her, his eyes taking in the sight before him, before all color drained from his face. "Bugger," he whispered, swiping a hand down his face. "I didn't know it was this bad."

Lily grimaced. "Yeah, well..."

"I was there, at the game. I should have saved him, I should have tried to help..."

"You couldn't have done anything to stop that, Sirius. He was hit with a Bludger. How were you supposed to know that from the stands?" she asked, taking in his T-shirt that read 'The Harpies' in large print.

"That doesn't change the–oi, what're you doing to him?" he asked indignantly, and Lily turned to see what the healers were doing. After seeing that they had succeeded in continuing his breathing, but not much else, she huffed angrily.

"Let me do this," she said, taking their place next to him and waving her wand as fast as she could.

Because James Potter was laying across the stretcher in front of her, his life slipping through his fingers, and that ring she hid in the bottom of her sock drawer was not there because she didn't think it was pretty.


	2. Change

**AN:** Second chapter! I haven't gotten this far in a while. Hope you like it, and stay tuned. It'll get more interesting soon, I promise. Thanks to my reviewers, _siabrach, hpobsessedrissa, WuHaoNi, LilyHeartsMarauders, shetlandlace, bookworm2butterfly, _and_ Kitty East. _I also apologize for no page-breaks last chapter. I had written them in on Word, but they didn't upload with the chapter. Thanks for reading!

**Disclaimer:**__Plot, OC's, etc. are mine, but not Harry Potter. Though if you could leave me with the delusion that I do, that'd be great.

Chapter Two: Change

The next morning found Lily in her kitchen, a piece of toast being nibbled slowly as she sat atop the counter. Her robes for work were already on, her hair already done, her make-up done as usual, but there were noticeable bags under her eyes. She hadn't slept much the previous night, the shock of James almost dying being too much to sleep through.

Was he alright at that exact moment? She kept wondering. What if he wasn't there anymore once she got in that morning? What if her work hadn't been enough? He hadn't been awake by the time she left the night before.

"Hey, babe," Benjy said as he entered the kitchen, still clad in his pajamas.

"Morning," she replied, distracted, no longer nibbling on the toast and instead picking at it between her fingers.

"You alright?" he asked, going into the fridge to take out the milk bottle.

"Mm," she answered, nodding. "Just fine." She watched as he raised the bottle to his lips and took a swig. Turning away, she threw the rest of her toast in the trash and dusted off her robes. "What time do you need to be in at work?" she asked.

He smiled, putting the milk away. "Day off," he proclaimed.

Lily nodded, understanding. He worked at Flourish and Blotts and it wasn't a rare occurrence for him to get a day off. "You're lucky," she commented. "I've got to leave now."

"Give me a kiss first," he requested, and Lily leaned in to give him a peck on the lips before apparating to St. Mungo's.

—xx—

"Morning, Lily."

Lily turned away from the patients chart she was looking over to look at who had addressed her. It turned out to be Vince, a friend of Laura's that she had met the day before.

"Oh, hi, Vince," she said pleasantly. "How are you?"

"Good," he replied, walking in stride with her. "You?"

She nodded. "Pretty good."

"You first day treat you well?" he asked, grinning.

She smiled. "As good as it could."

"I heard that you helped save a man's life," he commented, nudging her. "That's not normal first day procedure, you know."

"Well," she replied uneasily. "He was a friend of mine from school. Hadn't seen him in three years, so..."

"Is he alright today?"

Lily shook her head. "I haven't checked. I've been pretty busy." She held up the file clutched in her hand.

Vince gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I know what you mean." He gave her a pat on the back. "Only gets harder from here, though."

"Thanks, that really helps my outlook," she said after him as he turned right and she continued going straight. He threw a grin over his shoulder at her.

Her walking continued. Although she was only assigned one floor along with other Healers, her schedule was in a zig-zag formation, which consequently made her have to walk a lot. She was just about to go to her next patient when a room number caught her eye.

_456._

That was the room she'd put James in the night before. Taking a look in through the small window on the door, she saw that he was still lying on the bed with Sirius by his side.

She took a deep breath before opening the door and poking her head into the room. "Hey," she whispered, not wanting to interrupt the silence.

Sirius turned in his chair to look at her. "Hi," he answered, whispering just like she was.

"How is he?" she asked, fully entering the room to stand near Sirius's chair.

"Alright, I suppose. I don't know all this Healer mumbo jumbo, but they've got him under an induced sleep for a couple of days so he can heal a bit better."

She nodded. "That's regular procedure for something as bad as this."

He shot a look to her. "You really have made something of yourself, Lily Evans."

"Just a Healer," she told him, smiling a small smile.

He shrugged. "But that was always your dream, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was."

There was silence for a few moments as they both stared at James, his hair still as windswept as ever, his hazel eyes covered by his eyelids. He was tucked under the blankets, his arms over them, and Lily took in his arms; much the same as well as different as they were just three years ago. The small callous on his thumbs that she could see from where she was standing, the muscle in his forearm so obviously there, more so now that he was a professional Quidditch player.

"So, what...happened to you, after graduation?" Sirius asked hesitantly.

Lily breathed in awkwardly. She hadn't been in touch with either of them in so long, not after...

"Not much," she said. "You know, been training for the past couple of years. Got a nice house, the same friends..."

"Boyfriend?" he pressed.

She fingered the ring on her left hand. "Yes."

Sirius sat back in his seat, looking deflated.

"Listen, Sirius," she hastened to explain. "I know that during...when James and I...I know that we weren't the greatest friends," she settled on. "Especially not after everything that happened. And really, I don't blame you for not liking me then and even now. And–"

"Thank you," he interrupted.

"–if this is–wait, what?" she asked, confused.

"Thank you," he repeated. "For last night. You know, with James, and the blood, and just...all of it. Thanks."

"You're welcome," she said quietly. They stared at each other for a few moments before she asked, "So where's Remus? Shouldn't he be here?"

"He was here earlier," he answered. "But he had to go to work. Can't risk losing his job."

"Why aren't you at work?"

"I'm not leaving him," he said immediately, glancing back at James.

"He's fine," Lily assured him. "And he'd want you to leave."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well, of course he would," he answered, a ghost of a smirk on his lips. "That doesn't mean I'd actually do it."

She smiled, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Didn't really expect you to, either," she told him. "I've got to get back to work, but...look out for him, will you?"

He nodded, and she left the room quietly.

—xx—

"...so then I left the room and was walking down the hall, and the old bat comes running back out, dressed in her gown, potion clutched in her hand, and she's screaming at the top of her lungs that I've killed her goldfish! It was probably the scariest thing that's ever happened to me!"

Lily was sitting at lunch, chewing her chicken, and laughing her head off. She was sitting again with Laura and her friends as they shared stories of the patients they'd had already that day, ranging from funny to downright hilarious and humiliating.

"That did not happen," Lily argued, gasping for breath.

"It did!" Joe argued, being the one who had told the story. "How else do you think I got this stain on my robes? She bit me!"

"Her spit stained your robes?" Emma asked, amused.

"Yes!"

The chuckles eventually died down and Will asked Lily pleasantly, "So, Newbie, got any amusing stories of your own about wacky patients?"

Lily cut into her chicken, thinking. "Not particularly. Just one, Mrs. Truman. She's got the mouth of a sailor, I'm telling you."

Will snickered. "That's Andy's grandma."

She chocked on the food she had just been chewing. "What?" she asked, strangled.

He nodded. "Tell her, Andy," he said, nudging the man next to him.

Andy was nodding morosely. "It's true," he said. "She is. She's a regular, though, so it's more like she's everyone's grandma. But she's always had a potty mouth."

"Well, um," Lily said, struggling for something nice to say. "She's a very...interesting...woman."

"No need to lie to the man, Lily," Laura said. "She's downright atrocious."

"She's just a bit...eccentric," Lily supplied.

"Yeah, or crazy," Vince muttered, snickering.

—xx—

Lily arrived home that night completely worn out. A note by the door told her that Benjy had gone out with a few of some friends of his and would be home later that night. She felt relieved against her better judgement because this meant that she could get some uninterrupted peace and quiet.

She threw her bag onto the table and walked into the living room, throwing herself across the sofa and reaching a hand out to hit the answering machine, a device that Lily had insisted her and Benjy get when moving in together.

"Hey, Lily," the message said, the voice belonging to Brittany. "Come on, aren't you back from work yet? I'm itching for some conversation. Well, whatever. When you're done being a nerd, call me back. I'm just about to go insane in this quiet house–it's not the same ever since you left, you know–and I still need to hear about your first days as a big shot Healer. Love you."

She sighed, rubbing her temples to relieve the headache forming. Despite loving her best friend dearly, she really didn't want to call her back. Sure, she would–because she knew she'd want to spill her guts by the time Brittany answered–but she was really craving some sleep.

She grabbed the phone and dialed her friends number, waiting for her to pick up.

"Hello?" Brittany answered.

"Hey, Britt, it's me."

"Lily!" she praised. "Finally. I've been waiting an _hour_ for you to call me back. You know what that does to my brain cells."

Lily chuckled. "Sorry. I just got home."

"Oh yes, how is work?"

She sighed. "Interesting," she settled on, burrowing deeper into the cushions surrounding her.

"Elaborate," Brittany goaded.

"Well, yesterday I went in and I met this woman named Laura and she..."

Lily proceeded to explain to Brittany the happenings of her last two days at work, leaving nothing out. Brittany kept her mouth shut until Lily was done speaking, before bursting out with the question, "James? James _Potter_?"

"The very same," Lily replied.

"Wow," Brittany said, awed. "I never would have...he's always been such a good flier."

"Well, it's Quidditch, Britt. It's not exactly safe."

"And how are you holding up with that? You know, James, unconscious, in your place of work, while you're getting ready to get married to Benjy?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. It's not going to make me trip over my feet for him. It doesn't change anything."

"If you say so..." Brittany said doubtfully.

"Really," Lily insisted.

"I'm just saying, Lily," she continued. "I know that you won't want to hear this, but you know that James isn't just a random bloke. And you tend to try to repress feelings that will compromise your sense of normality, but if you want, you can talk to me about it, alright?"

"Since when have you been wise?" Lily teased, attempting to change the subject subtly.

"Since always. But that's not going to work on me, Lily Bethany Evans. Promise me that you'll talk to me if you even have an _inkling_ that you're feeling something for James. Or if something happens with James. I do love my gossip."

"Great way you make me want to tell you if something _does_ happen, Britt," Lily answered, rolling her eyes. "But okay. I promise."

"Good," Brittany said happily. "Now, since you're an odd one and don't get home from work until nine at night, _I_ now have to go to work. Waitressing won't do itself, you know."

Lily grinned. "Sure. You have fun getting hit on my greasy old men."

"It's the highlight of my day," Brittany joked before the two hung up.

Lily laid back against the cushions once more. She knew that Brittany was just trying to help, but she didn't need to worry. Sure, James and her had a past, but that didn't mean they were going to have a future. It was crazy to even think that they would. She had Benjy. She loved Benjy. She was getting _married_.

James stood nowhere in that equation.

The front door slammed, drawing Lily out of her thoughts. Footsteps could be heard barreling down the hallway towards the living room while Benjy called out, "Lily!"

She sat up. "In here," she called.

Benjy ran in, an excited look plastered across his face. "You will not guess," he said, sitting down next to her, "what great news I have for you."

Lily smiled. "What?"

"You know that chapel that you wanted for the wedding? The one that your parents got married in?" At Lily's nod, he continued. "Well, I was out with the boys and Mike and I were talking, and he told me that his sister was supposed to get married in two months, but that she'd cancelled. And guess where she was going to get married?"

Excitement crept up Lily's spine. "No," she denied, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Yes!" he practically yelled, beaming. "The chapel you wanted! And I went over to the chapel before I came home, and they still had the opening, so I signed us up."

"You did not!" she exclaimed, jumping up from her seat.

He stood with her, his smile now calm and relaxed as he drew her towards him. "I did."

Lily breathed out. "We're getting married," she whispered.

"Mm," he nodded, still smiling, before he kissed her.

They stood that way for a few moments before Lily drew back sharply. "Wait," she said. "Two months?" Benjy continued to look confused as she yelled, "Two months! I've so much to do! What are you doing, standing here, kissing me? I've got to get so much done! And the invitations, and the flowers, and–oh, Merlin! The dresses!" She ran out of the room, still yelling about the things she needed to do before the two months were over, while Benjy stayed standing in the living room grinning.


End file.
